Patience vs The Fear of Missing Out
Maybe it is the seven cups of coffee I’ve been mainlining all afternoon. Or maybe it’s because I’ve been cooped up too long, but quicker than you can say 'Patience is a virtue', the baby is tossed with the bathwater. Now I am double-timing it back to the cosmic blue Toyota Matrix. Sweating and agitated I start to second guess my second guess.
Cape St. Francis, Newfoundland, after much second guessing.
I am checking the weather obsessively. The wind and wave apps are telling me all systems go, and the cloud forecast looks great. Confident in my decision to visit the coast, I pack the car and hit the road. Thirty mins later, with the haunting sounds of questionable car karaoke hanging in the wind, I roll into the beautiful seaside town of Pouch Cove.
I’m a little early. I should take time to scout a few compositions and wait for the light to arrive. Parking the car, I step out and jump a few fishing stages to access the water. “Yeah, this could work”, I think to myself. But part of me can’t help wondering what else is around. Usually, this is where I would stop and have a little heart to heart with myself. Sure, it looks like I have time to burn, and maybe there is a stronger composition just around the corner. Then again, I am prone to wander, lose track of time and miss the best light gambling on a better image.
“Here’s the deal”, I say out loud to myself. “You have something you like right in front of you; all your research suggests this spot will light up. Take a breath, grab a rock and be patient. Worst case scenario, you'll sit next to the ocean and watch the sun go down.” Ah yes, my inner voice of patience. This voice knows the benefit of sticking to a well-researched plan and applies reason when I start to question my choices.
Sensing a challenge, a second voice in my head takes over; tempting but toxic. Not immediate, it operates in the shadows, plays on my anxieties and harvests greedily from the cracks in the confidence of my choices as a creator. It’s the voice of The Fear of Missing Out – FOMO from here on.
Noticing a slight hesitation, FOMO pulls to my forethoughts, “Hey! Remember that little town north of here, accessible by a questionable gravel road with no cell service and facing away from sunset? We gotta check it out!”
Maybe it is the seven cups of coffee I’ve been mainlining all afternoon. Or maybe it’s because I’ve been cooped up too long, but quicker than you can say 'Patience is a virtue', the baby is tossed with the bathwater. Now I am double-timing it back to the cosmic blue Toyota Matrix. Sweating and agitated I start to second guess my second guess.
Patience: “Maybe it’s best I just stay put, it’s been years since I’ve been down that road and…
FOMO: “Remember there’s that sweet old-growth forest hanging above the abandoned lighthouse though? I promise, only bigger, better things await."
Minutes later the Matrix is kicking dust while I play footsie with the gas and brake, dodging potholes that I’m certain double as entrances to the earth’s core. It’s getting on in the evening and I’m not even sure how long this road goes for anymore. With one eye on spotting for moose and another glancing desperately at the skyline, I feel a familiar knock on the backdoor of my subconscious. “Oh, hi doubt, I didn’t hear you pull up.”
Doubt saunters into my inner dialogue, slumps into a lazy boy, cracks a beer letting out a pregnant sigh. “You know, if you turn back now, you could still make something of that original location. The sun is getting real low big fella.”
Patience: A perfectly reasonable plan 20 mins ago but you’ve gone too far down this rabbit hole to turn back Alice. No, the best thing you can do now is stay the course and make the best of what awaits you at the end of all this.
Patience is right. This is the better option. Feeling my shoulders relax I catch myself smirking in the rearview, momentarily distracted by the image of myself in the classic Alice in Wonderland costuming. There is peace in making a choice and sticking to it. Let’s see what’s over these hills.
FOMO: Hey! Did you guys see that rabbit? We could literally chase rabbits. This might be the shot of the year! RAAABIIIIITS!!!!
"Cool your jets FOMO! No Rabbits, we took a vote, and even doubt thinks you're cracking up.”
Doubling down on my sunset goals, I finally make it to the end of the road. Now, time to find a composition. I’ve still got about 30 mins before the sky is supposed to light up. It’s not long before I notice a potential panoramic. With the clouds building and the steady surf breaking on the beach, this might be the shot. I know what you’re thinking, 30 mins is a long time to sit and wait. I mean, think of all the other potential images that are in this area. And here we go again, patience and FOMO start to square off. Circling each other for the title in this main event showdown – Where will Curtis plant his arse and shoot the sunset this evening? I admit, attendance is limited, with little actual importance beyond the boundaries of my dysfunctional mind, but I like to think we entertain those who do choose to tune in.
Folks, I don't mind admitting that a sad, but epic, battle was waged that night on the rugged shores of Cape St. Francis. I won’t bore you with a play by play. In the end, I did scout around a little more, and I did find something I liked more than the original panoramic. But there was never a clear-cut winner. The fear of missing out made a strong move early on to tear away from the first composition, and patience made some fine technical plays to maintain control once I found a second frame. Heck, even doubt threw an elbow or two once the deep pink and purple light started to kick off.
To be afraid of missing what might be, at the risk of what you have, is in all of us. We struggle every day with making the best decisions. When to push forward, and when to try something new. It’s a sliding scale, and in my experience, a balance of both seems to make up the bulk of most choices. Patience gets the work done. It sees the bigger picture and covers the gaps when doubt is knocking loudest. Fear of missing out can be toxic in large doses but can help you push past your discomfort with things that no longer feel like they are working. Doubt is the canary in the coal mine. When doubt starts creeping around, it’s a sure-fire sign that something bigger is going down in my world. Something I need to pay more attention to or something I’ve been afraid to move past. It’s all necessary, even the most ridiculous rabbits need chasing from time to time. Our job is to choose which ones and then have the patience to see where those rabbits lead us.